Tea Bag Stains

2011-02-21T22:41:00.001-08:00

you would think i would have learnt my lesson. clearly not. but don't worry this is the last time. i will never get attached to anyone, anything or place. they eventually leave and destroy your insides. places change, people grow up and things they don't last forever. this way its easier, this way i don't get hurt. im still sad but hopefully i wont be as sad and the hurt won't last as long. clearly i dont deserve nice things. i probably never will. but thats ok i just want everyone else to be happy.

........

p.s 500 days of summer delightful movie!

2010-11-13T02:30:00.000-08:00

why she says shes on her own, awful sick and tired of the game-kings of leon

oh hey thanks for using me

2010-11-06T00:36:00.000-07:00

yes its summer soon and its definately put a spark in my step. i cant wait. i cant wait.

.....

finally i am feeling so incredibly inspired and happy. i know this wont last long but im embracing it while i can. like right now sitting in my room theres a beautiful glow all around me as the sun is setting. and from the oven i can smell a glorious spinach and mushroom quiche ready to be devoured and washed down with a glass of sparkling pink wine.

.....

im glad i met you maurice you made me feel a little special even if it was for one night i know u were using me: stealing my coins, eating my pies but i let you get away with it: just this once though. next time you can buy me a vegemite scroll ;)

and peter know that i will miss you when you leave i still respect you even though you treated me like a ragdoll.

these words are long and complicated for anyones mind but my mind feels better for sharing with the world.

great

2010-10-27T02:12:00.000-07:00

dear. you,
i only said i wish i never met you because you made me like you and now you have hurt me and i dont like getting hurt. this time i got carried away and i am never ever going to make that mistake again. thankyou for clearing that up for me.
from crazy

you dont care but it was the best moment of my life

2010-10-05T21:53:00.001-07:00

why are people always taking?!!! ive said this before but its getting to the point of exhaustion i can barely breathe im feeling really suffocated and have given up any hope on anyone and anything. i expect the worst from everyone i meet and im finding it really hard to trust people lately even those who are close to me! scream and cry i can no more. im just to the point of numb. people let you down thats all i have to say. how dissapointing i had so much hope. i believed you. thanks to you i'll never believe anything ever again.

why didnt you just say you didnt want me around, why did you lead me on ? why would you do that? how can you say these things and be so cruel?. im over it. so over it. over it.

please not again

2010-09-22T00:14:00.000-07:00

night terrors.cant sleep. why does everyone want to take ? never giving back taking taking taking til theres nothing left. where does it all go?....

cigerettes again..new lovers none want to stay, none worthy enough to stay...so i keep telling myself. strange encounters with friends. messy parties. crying alone in a crowded bar. wanting to take so much from someone..but thats not me. i wish it was me.

dear.you

i think you messed me up and now i cant figure anything out.

x love me.

can u just i dunno.. like me?

2010-09-01T19:57:00.000-07:00

i miss my friends they seem so far away...although they are right around the corner, i feel as tho they are different people like i cant reveal my real thoughts around them any more because i am so scared of what they would think of me, you should never feel like this around real friends. perhaps they are moving forward and growing and becoming amazing people where as i am stuck. stuck in this little place sinking even further.

have you ever met someone who got so deep into your head, that made u feel special so special that is hurt so much because you knew deeep deeep down inside you would never measure up to their amazingness? i hope u havent it sucks.

quesiton of the day: follow your dreams or be sensible and slightly unhappy?

hey you....

2010-02-23T19:28:00.000-08:00

there are creaking noises coming from the room next door, the wind is howling like a wolf.

i find i come back here when things arent going so well, this blog world well its like a form of therapy. i miss it terribly..

................

so anyone out there who wants to get the lowdown this is wats been happening in no particular order: quit art school, worked too much, drank lots of black coffee, smoked too many cigerettes, found a lovely boy, got utterly rejected by a lovely boy, missed my brother, found out how much i have changed, best friend got a boyfriend, gin and tonic, super cool stilletos, boys are losers, rose oil, deathly hangover, white lace bodysuit, black nails and feather earrings.

oh and....

discovering an old friend, crying at the drop of a hat, feeling so alone, feeling so alone, feeling so alone. "why aren't u happy today?" oh how i wanted to rant, rave, cry, tear my hair out and scream at the world just scream until it felt better. "no i'm ok, everythings just perfect"

................

how selfish to feel so sad for no particular reason at all, wen the rest of the world seems so far worst off it doesnt seem fair, i just hope u dont all judge me for feeling this way.

i need and i mean need to get back to painting i think ive lost myself

help me find her?

give it to me

2010-01-01T18:14:00.000-08:00

happy new year fred and ted and len and sid.

its britneyy

2009-11-26T03:43:00.000-08:00

i saw britney live...shes still got it

the search continues

2009-11-07T23:54:00.000-08:00

today i don;t care, i don't care about tax returns i don't care about cleaning the house i don't care what i eat if i eat, i dont care if there the light cigerettes or the rich ones, i don't care about studying i don't care about art i don't care about fashion i don't care which beer i like i don't care if you think about me i don't care if i end up alone i don't care about the weather i don't care if i work the 6.30 shift i don't care about whats on tv i don't care if i'm invisible. i just care that i don't care because i'm worried that somehow this is just a dream when i wake up i will care and you will care too. as bloc party say this pain won't last forever

*so sorry to depress the readers

summer dayze

2009-10-25T22:13:00.001-07:00

it is nearly summer here which means beach trips, beautiful weather, short dresses made of lace, bon fires, mint ice cream, iced tea with lemon and honey, pool parties, christmas, painting in the sunny afternoons, angus and julia stone, smoking by the ocean, fresh ocean spray, looking at the stars, skinny dipping, drunken sack races. i love it.

please both of you pretend to care, i just wanted a friend

but i think you wanted more?

longing...

2009-10-05T03:06:00.001-07:00

dear ______,
i miss your curly hair. i miss your sad-looking eyes. i miss your silence. i don’t understand why you just disappeared.
it’s been a year now. you’re still missing. and i’m still hopelessly falling for you.
— me

doesn't letters to crushes make you happy, there all so sweet and cute and awww...

too good to be true

2009-10-05T01:49:00.000-07:00

i feel a bit, ever so slightly used and i've just realised it now

i told myself not to raise my hopes but guess what i did?

i knew this would happen back in my mind, but i got so carried away

so now i feel a bit ever so slightly used.

it kinda hurts.x

why do we do things even though we know they are bad for us?

no sleep.. no dreams..no lover inbetween the sheets

2009-09-30T21:21:00.000-07:00

tonight i will go out, i will wear my hear in a messy bun. put on a pretty dress and walk around like i dont care about you. but secretly i do.
drink peach scnapps from the bottle, smoke my last cigerette,mindlessly dance, sway my head, scan the crowd your not there. i'll walk off like i don't care. but secretly i do.

today i decided that people don't wait for you, nobody has the patience they'll just move on forget you. like you were never there.even if you shared so much together.sometimes its never enough.

i'm back to not sleeping. which is always fun when you work everyday.

but i am so much more happier i think...life isn't fantastic but content. i look forward to little things like afternoon walks, cups of hot tea, finishing work early, smiles from strangers. they all help in making me feel better.

be happy dear strangers x

p.s/i hope your there tonight mr.

ps/images: wehearit.com

dream like u mean it

2009-09-24T22:02:00.000-07:00

wow.....where have i been? its been too too too long. i miss it here. lots of things happening. but nothing happening at all. long bush hikes, delicious salads piled with mushrooms, birthday parties and sweet champagne, new dresses, platform heels, lovely boys with cute tattoos. stolen kisses, long lost friends, decsions, mint cigerettes, tutus, mint cigerettes, mint cigerettes...

i think i've shown this picture before; but damn her hair is amazingggg/dropsnap image

if you promise to keep reading...i'll promise to keep writingxx

can't wait.

2009-06-22T19:09:00.001-07:00

dog days are over..

2009-06-09T18:46:00.001-07:00

have you heard florence and the machine? insanely fantastic..

oh boy

2009-06-04T01:22:00.001-07:00

google, stockholm streetstyle, cobrasnake, dropsnap

these lads have some serious style...duh

juxtapoz

2009-06-02T05:03:00.000-07:00

i think i must certainly scare people, lately i've been getting some weird vibes from certain people. idunno must be the weather. i love that excuse must be the weather i tend to use it a hundred times a day.nojoke. even when the weather is pleasent and fine.

today was green tea and lentil soup yes chef. and it rained which was lovely i love rain probably more then whats allowed. i also drew some pictures of teacups dancing in the rain. i love rain.

and tea....

awake

2009-05-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

dear chef,

i'm so glad you have left my mind. i will miss you but not so much as the others.

continue being lovely.i'm sorry you can read my mind its not fair..a decade older and a different universe completely.

like i give a frock

2009-05-20T21:38:00.000-07:00

tofu, green tea, tofu, green tea, tofu, green tea...

hmmm seems i haven't been here in a while years it seems...i have been trying to live a life not very well tho.: having trouble sleeping its made me a zombie and making me act like a crazy person. yes chef. he stands in the rain and smokes his cigerette he likes chocolate cake.

some wonderful things i have found that instantly cheer my soul.

the movie love me, if you dare. a french film absolutely the sweetest thing i have ever seen.

fiona apple, talented and beautiful...love the song parting gift.oh how i love

pixiemarket, lovely pretty things to drape on your bones.

and then she was gone....like a flicker of light, a blink of an eye, a leaf in the wind, a loose bobby pin...

not about love

2009-05-04T02:41:00.000-07:00

how i wish this was from you.

2009-04-29T21:57:00.000-07:00

You over there, I’m afraid that if I look at you, you’ll see how much I like you. So when I never look in your direction, it’s just because I’m hiding my best secrets. — M text: letters from crushes

image:google

2009-04-26T19:46:00.000-07:00

feeling kinda down down down...tomorrow will be better my little crocodile, i promise some happier posts and no more staring and i'll leave you alone but don't cloud my mind. x

yes chef.

You'll never see -- the courage I know

Its colors' richness won't appear within your view

I'll never glow -- the way that you glow

Your presence dominates the judgements made on you

fiona apple-never is a promise

Come pick me up. Take me out Fuck me up. Steal my records. Screw all my friends. They're all full of shit With a smile on your face And then do it again

-Ryan Adams

I looked and looked at her, and I knew, as clearly as I know that I will die, that I loved her more than anything I had ever seen or imagined on earth. She was only the dead-leaf echo of the nymphet from long ago - but I loved her, this Lolita, pale and polluted and big with another man's child. She could fade and wither - I didn't care. I would still go mad with tenderness at the mere sight of her face

- lolita

How can you see places like this... and have moments like this and not believe?

tell me a story?your favourite story short or long.just your favourite story.

something new

2009-04-22T03:09:00.000-07:00

i thought it was time for change...

lately i've been feeling different like i've just woken up and realised whats going on

anyone felt this way?

i realised no one waits anymore no one genuinely cares they just go about life they don't notice the small stuff they don't stop to think its all a big race...i don't get it, whats the rush? why are we all in such a rush?

(i so desperately want to live in that house!! picture from weheartit)

2009-04-06T00:37:00.000-07:00

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

........

i have been reading lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, I've always wanted to read it so finally while adventuring around the city on a rainy day i purchased it. so far i love it, the storyline is interesting and beautifully written. has anyone out there read it? what did you think?

also.... i want a pet duck

happy easter all, hope you don't sugar overdose tehehe

barely listening

2009-04-02T22:52:00.001-07:00

Oscar,

Under the smudged black ink of every letter I write you is another letter entirely, a secret love letter in whispers and foolish hopes and the invisible ink of my breath.

— Felix
(this is from this site letters to crushes)

sleepyhead

2009-03-25T23:10:00.000-07:00

i love all of these, they are so beautiful oh yes..

by photographer Mario Simnch

I don't care just where you go

As long, as long as it's with me

I don't mind just what you do

As long, as long as it's with me, too
this song made me so happy:..:..

a silly kinda story..:

2009-03-19T21:50:00.000-07:00

i wait for the man to turn green, wind blows, leaves scatter, the silence is so loud it screams, the sky is thick with fog and the clouds darken.

people sit nearby in cafes awaiting the rain, there laughter and chatter unheard. i wait for the man to turn green.

the trains hum and rattle whilst the scent of fresh bread and coffee fill the air, cyclist come and go, joggers rush past.

i wait for the man to turn green. you glance up at me. i wait for the man to turn green. your stare seems curious. i wait for the man to turn green..

my face turns upright unable to understand. the man turns green. the walk seems long and you still hold your stare. my confusion is settled when you hand me a note...

wind blows leaves scatter, the sky is thick with fog and the clouds darken, people sit nearby in cafes awaiting the rain, there laughter and chatter unheard..and your here with me no longer are we waiting for anything.

from the heart...

2009-03-12T20:36:00.001-07:00

time is never time at all, you can never ever leave without leaving a piece of youth...

two lovely fairies... ragsandscribbles and stickykitten tagged me..

With as much creativity as you can muster, show your heart in:
1 picture
1 poem
1 song or piece of music:

1 phrase or quote:
1 item of clothing:
1 place: [And just for fun-] 1 Disney princess!If you want to join in, tag 6 more blogs!

.....

picture:

magical special things happen when it rains..

poem: this isn't a poem but.. bloc party are poetry

And you didn't even notice

When the sky turned blue

And you couldn't tell the difference

Between me and you

And I nearly didn't notice

The gentlest feeling

You are the bluest light...

song:

Bedouin song -Lior(you must must must listen)

....

phrase/quote:

I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours -Bob Dylan

....

clothing: lacey dress ooh..la.la place:
here.yes? perfect for drinking sweet tea and reading fairy tales, won't you come with me?
we will sprinkle some pixie dust, stay up late watch the stars and fall asleep in a cubbyhouse.

princess: belle/ beauty &the beast

now its your turn: now it says tag six people, but i think mostly everyone has done this?if you have not i tag you!

the sky could be blue, i don't mind without you its a waste of time

..they don't understand

2009-03-12T03:47:00.000-07:00

it seems to be cooling down ever so slightly...which is so exciting and yesterday it even rained so it was pretty special.i even saw the curly haired boy. my days have been filled with reading blogs, vintage lace dresses, new art supplies, bus trips, sleepy lectures, finding fairys, drinking tea, taking photos&eating sushi..(this photo of my art space in my room)

this book is so amazing...i don't know what else to say . it is a childrens book, but so beautifully put together with handwriting and little drawings...a bit like lady cottingtons pressed fairy book but for children. check them both out if you haven't already. la...la..la

isn't this the best thing you have ever seen? Sarah Moon is a genius.

although..i have found a new feeling, a feeling of being a little lost.and i am not sure but i seem a tad bit blue. what do you do to cheer yourself up?

floral printed dreams..

2009-03-08T22:40:00.000-07:00

"she stood at Webb's door. Tate, with the wild hair and the grin that went on forever. Sometimes Webb believed that he would never experience a better feeling than when he was looking at her; would never see anything or anybody bursting with more life and spirit. Sometimes he felt he needed to inhale it and place it in a storage area in his soul. Just in case."

-Jellicoe Road, Melina Marchetta

~...:...............:...~

this is my favourite quote from this book, its so beautiful. i'm reading it again. i find i always go back and read my favourites when i'm feeling a little delicate. does anyone else do this? i've been working on a drawing and i really want to share but my scanner has decided he doesn't like me anymore...its a shame i thought we were best friends.

i hope you feel loved

(photograph by sasha Nikitin on flikr, i found her (via Betsey) today and i think she is so so talented!)

i think sometimes maybe its alright to be lonely

2009-03-04T19:46:00.000-08:00

loneliness is the human condition cultivate it. the way it tunnels into you allows your soul room to grow-White Oleander The district sleeps alone tonight after the bars turn out their lights And send the autos swerving into the loneliest evening-The Postal service

loneliness adds beauty to life.it puts a special burn on sunsets and makes night air smell better-Henry Rollins

Mrs. lovely moon, you're lonely and you're blue It's kind of strange, the way you change But then again, we all do too-Devendra Banhart

I send a heart to all my dearies When your life is so, so dreary

...Dream -smashing pumpkins

i was thinking to be lonely isn't all that bad...it gives you time think,dream and just be yourself, as long as it doesn't last too long does anyone agree/disagree? ..:>

..today he walked in, and it was horrible he caught me off guard but it wasn't him i haven't seen him in many moons i wonder if he knew? fairy lights have taken over my life and so has bob dylan and green tea, the night out was the best, acting crazy is the best cure.

ta-ta hope your tea is magical.

(photos are all from weheartit everyones favourite site!)

I'll let you be in my dreams if I can be in yours. x